If I had never been me would you have missed me? SHORT STORY
Jan 12, 2020 23:11:24 GMT -5
Post by C H I Y O on Jan 12, 2020 23:11:24 GMT -5
A story made for my OC Snowflower's parents in the Ravenclan RP. Hope you Enjoy and feel free to comment!
"Have you ever envied me?"
I was suprised. I'd never expected of all things for Riverpaw to say something like that. Her voice was nonchalant, as if she hadn't just asked something so ridiculously bizarre, but still I answered. I had to- something in her voice, barely there but so fragile, told me I had to.
"Well, yeah, of course I have!"
"How?"
Again, she'd said it so simply, so calmly. Like it wasn't a loaded question, something verging on dangerously personal. What had gotten me into this conversation I had no idea. Well, I mean, I kinda did. During training my mentor had mentioned that I was most likely to become a warrior first, maybe even early, because of my excellent posture and technique that day. And, well, when Riverpaw had quizzed me on that I couldn't help but boast, and Riverpaw had merely shot me an annoyed, if not amused, glare. The conversation pattered out into some other meaningless topic, and that was it.
At least, I had thought that was it. Riverpaw made some kind of comment of envy, but considering the mischevious look in her eye I hadn't been worried. Now I'm wishing I had been.
"Well, I mean, I envy how pretty you are! And you're so confident, and social. Meanwhile all I do is hide in a corner because I'm too shy to talk, and even when I do get close to someone I just cling onto them." I was almost tempted to cringe, admitting this out loud, but it wasn't as if she didn't already know this. We'd grown up together, after all.
"That doesn't mean anything." She huffed, and she had this, well, I don't really know how to describe it, but I guess she seemed almost.. lost? "Being pretty or ugly doesn't mean anything to all those toms, I still get harassed at gatherings, talking about how me and them would have the cutest kits, and how I'd look better if I smiled." I cringed. Yikes. Aside from my parents and Riverpaw I don't think I've ever been called pretty by someone. I hadn't lied when I said I envied her looks, I hated hearing all the derogatory laughs and sneering comments about how matted my fur looked and how I must've been stealing extra prey from the fresh kill to get so big. Riverpaw never got bullied for those things. She was a beautiful pointed dilute cat. But still.. I didn't realise that they had harrased her about her looks too.
"And my social confidence.. heh, all of thats just a mask."
"Huh?"
--
Riverpaw really hated toms. Thats not to say she despised all of them, of course. Some, like Redpaw and Ashwhisker were fine. They were polite enough, and never made any uncouth advances or comments. Then there were cats like Bloodpaw, rude and always looking down at her with those arrogant leering eyes. Or Robinkit, starclan that kit was annoying. Of course, part of her hatred for men she blamed on her mother. Riverpaw's father had ran away, lulled by the idea of kittypet life. Bah. Had left his pregnant mate with swollen belly of his kits for all the pellets he could eat. He was a coward. Since her birth her mother had warned her of toms. They only wanted the thrill of the chase, and Riverpaw listened. She hadn't believed her at first, watching the queens and their mates, but moons of listening to her mother, whether she liked it or not, had begun to wear at her.
Riverpaw really hated toms, and her dear Deerpaw agreed. She'd own of the fellow molly's interest in females, and had been supportive of her endeavors, unlike Deerpaw's mother. She'd remained supportive well until the end, but that was another story we shan't tell here.
__
As you can imagine, Riverpaw did not hold the best of reputations in the clan, especially with the males. She'd learn to grin and bear it, mustering up every ounce of manners her mother had taught. Riverpaw had to after that incident with
Warblerpaw's father. In her defense, she hadn't realised he was in ear shot when she'd said those things.
Yes, Riverpaw was kind and social with the girls. Had no problem flouncing and parading with her clique, but after that time she'd gotten into a scuffle with Bloodpaw, then had jumped his brother, thinking it was him, cats had since begun to steer clear of her and her unmotivated attacks.
This still had not changed with the arrival of her warrior term. And Rivertrout was content with this. After all, her delinquent status among her clanmates as a disturbed troublemaker did nothing to her ability to sleep soundly at night.
And just like that, these days continued, boring and restless. It felt like these kind of days, a sort of content, would continue forevermore. And sometimes it felt like Rivertrout was waiting. For what, she didn't know. A catalyst, something to turn her grey, bland world new.
Deerflight looked really happy, chatting it up with some apprentices over there.
Rivertrout really envied her.
"This social confidence is nothing more than a facade, because I know. I will never be the perfect cat I want to be. The cat I have to be in order to obtain happiness."
"If only I was more like you, Deerpaw."
"Have you ever envied me?"
I was suprised. I'd never expected of all things for Riverpaw to say something like that. Her voice was nonchalant, as if she hadn't just asked something so ridiculously bizarre, but still I answered. I had to- something in her voice, barely there but so fragile, told me I had to.
"Well, yeah, of course I have!"
"How?"
Again, she'd said it so simply, so calmly. Like it wasn't a loaded question, something verging on dangerously personal. What had gotten me into this conversation I had no idea. Well, I mean, I kinda did. During training my mentor had mentioned that I was most likely to become a warrior first, maybe even early, because of my excellent posture and technique that day. And, well, when Riverpaw had quizzed me on that I couldn't help but boast, and Riverpaw had merely shot me an annoyed, if not amused, glare. The conversation pattered out into some other meaningless topic, and that was it.
At least, I had thought that was it. Riverpaw made some kind of comment of envy, but considering the mischevious look in her eye I hadn't been worried. Now I'm wishing I had been.
"Well, I mean, I envy how pretty you are! And you're so confident, and social. Meanwhile all I do is hide in a corner because I'm too shy to talk, and even when I do get close to someone I just cling onto them." I was almost tempted to cringe, admitting this out loud, but it wasn't as if she didn't already know this. We'd grown up together, after all.
"That doesn't mean anything." She huffed, and she had this, well, I don't really know how to describe it, but I guess she seemed almost.. lost? "Being pretty or ugly doesn't mean anything to all those toms, I still get harassed at gatherings, talking about how me and them would have the cutest kits, and how I'd look better if I smiled." I cringed. Yikes. Aside from my parents and Riverpaw I don't think I've ever been called pretty by someone. I hadn't lied when I said I envied her looks, I hated hearing all the derogatory laughs and sneering comments about how matted my fur looked and how I must've been stealing extra prey from the fresh kill to get so big. Riverpaw never got bullied for those things. She was a beautiful pointed dilute cat. But still.. I didn't realise that they had harrased her about her looks too.
"And my social confidence.. heh, all of thats just a mask."
"Huh?"
--
Riverpaw really hated toms. Thats not to say she despised all of them, of course. Some, like Redpaw and Ashwhisker were fine. They were polite enough, and never made any uncouth advances or comments. Then there were cats like Bloodpaw, rude and always looking down at her with those arrogant leering eyes. Or Robinkit, starclan that kit was annoying. Of course, part of her hatred for men she blamed on her mother. Riverpaw's father had ran away, lulled by the idea of kittypet life. Bah. Had left his pregnant mate with swollen belly of his kits for all the pellets he could eat. He was a coward. Since her birth her mother had warned her of toms. They only wanted the thrill of the chase, and Riverpaw listened. She hadn't believed her at first, watching the queens and their mates, but moons of listening to her mother, whether she liked it or not, had begun to wear at her.
Riverpaw really hated toms, and her dear Deerpaw agreed. She'd own of the fellow molly's interest in females, and had been supportive of her endeavors, unlike Deerpaw's mother. She'd remained supportive well until the end, but that was another story we shan't tell here.
__
As you can imagine, Riverpaw did not hold the best of reputations in the clan, especially with the males. She'd learn to grin and bear it, mustering up every ounce of manners her mother had taught. Riverpaw had to after that incident with
Warblerpaw's father. In her defense, she hadn't realised he was in ear shot when she'd said those things.
Yes, Riverpaw was kind and social with the girls. Had no problem flouncing and parading with her clique, but after that time she'd gotten into a scuffle with Bloodpaw, then had jumped his brother, thinking it was him, cats had since begun to steer clear of her and her unmotivated attacks.
This still had not changed with the arrival of her warrior term. And Rivertrout was content with this. After all, her delinquent status among her clanmates as a disturbed troublemaker did nothing to her ability to sleep soundly at night.
And just like that, these days continued, boring and restless. It felt like these kind of days, a sort of content, would continue forevermore. And sometimes it felt like Rivertrout was waiting. For what, she didn't know. A catalyst, something to turn her grey, bland world new.
Deerflight looked really happy, chatting it up with some apprentices over there.
Rivertrout really envied her.
"This social confidence is nothing more than a facade, because I know. I will never be the perfect cat I want to be. The cat I have to be in order to obtain happiness."
"If only I was more like you, Deerpaw."
