Endless- Short Story
Oct 5, 2015 9:37:37 GMT -5
Post by Silver Iridescence on Oct 5, 2015 9:37:37 GMT -5
(I really love English and I hope to become an author as my career when I can. I might be a little obsessed and too passionate about it, but I love writing. Here's one of my first short stories I've ever really shown to anyone that was okay, and it's for a local library's short story contest. I hope you [and they] like it. 
)
Part 1- End's Beginning
Evening light filtered in through the canopy of leaves.
Athi blinked and sat up, attempting to remember why she was here and when she had come. Nothing was coaxed from her memories. Confused, she took to her feet and stared around, narrowing her eyes. Nothing gave any clue to why she was here, what she had forgotten, anything. The girl began walking in no particular direction, wind playing with her long, plain brown hair. She continued on this way until she met a path.
Ambling along it for what it seemed hours on end- and might well have been- Athi finally came to where the path stopped. It was a village with people bustling around to their business, milling through the marketplace to purchase goods. Athi felt instantly comforted. They could help her find her way to whatever home she had. She marched up determinedly to the blacksmith and chirped a short inquiry, “Can you give me directions?”
The blacksmith didn't falter in his work or even take a glance upward. Athi sniffed. She repeated herself, but to no avail. Suddenly she felt a slightly painful tingling from her shoulder, and she yelped upon turning.
A hand was reaching directly through her shoulder as if she were made of naught but air! It rested on the desk as the person asked the blacksmith about his wares. He glanced over in Athi's direction, but evidently seeing nothing there, continued to speak to the smith. The blacksmith, hard at work, glanced up andnodded, then spoke in answer to the question. Athi was far too startled and unsettled that she didn't even think to be upset with the blacksmith for ignoring her.
Athi, being a very imaginative child, began to realize what had happened very quickly. She had simply lost all tangibility. The air seemed colder and the sun seemed darker as she came to this conclusion.
Part 2- Bitter World
The feline-avian hybrid dove earthward in a spiraling streak approaching its prey.
Its eyes glistened with anticipation of the hunt, but the large rodent it was after sped across the ground and into the woods, pursued by the cougar-bird. I watched from afar.
Prepared for another of the seemingly endless days of emptiness, I stared out the cave entrance, arms folded on a jutting rock, rounded enough that it seemed a sphere in the process of melting through the ground. Fading had taken away the rest of my life just after I'd slipped out of childhood. I pitied those who had been younger than I when it had begun, but we shared the same fate. All I could do was stare out at the city and yearn to be home again. But I could not and never would return. I'd never see my family again. Recently I'd begun recovering information about them- people say that's what happens when we begin to fade. I had a mother named Yurei, from the east, and a father named Tesh, from the south. I had no siblings except a single brother, a few years older than me, who had left years ago to fight in the war which had ended long ago, and never returned. It was my fear that he had become one of us as well but never found any others to join with. His name had been Leoth, and I'd only known him for a few years.
I remembered awaking as the Forgotten always do on the peakof a mountain, with nothing around me. I was not afraid, I didn't have enough of myself to feel anything- but I felt a sense of despair, not a feeling, that I had lost something. Lostmy cornerstone.
The current view was of a rolling plain giving way to a deciduous woodland, with a large village nestled into the forest, the farthest edge at the end of the wood. A few trees, some dead or decaying, dotted the vast plains. Many hills rose up among the mainly flat land, including the one that held our cave. Mountains peaked just above the horizon, some far off and others nearby.
Technically, I wasn't alive anymore; or was I? My heart still beat, I still took air to breathe, I still required food and water. But it wasn't the same. Food had lost its taste long ago, and water its refreshment. Air was no longer sweet and my blood seemed cold, barely keeping me alive. Life had lost many of its joys when I'd become Forgotten.
A strange occurrence in our town was that when one was forgotten, they lost all memory of anything they'd previously known and begun to fade out of existence. My parents had died of old age roughly a year ago and so I'd become beyond recollection. And so I joined the appropriately named group- the Forgotten. Most of us had lost our loved ones or become lost ourselves. Others had been exiled or another unfortunate fate had befallen them. And 'colonies' of us had formed. We were held together by a single, common thread, and we could not save each other from being forgotten. No matter how much we thought of another, when they faded we didn't remember them at all or what we had attempted. The name of 'colonies' reminded me a bit too much of leper colonies- isolated, forsaken, unwanted.
Suddenly I spotted something. I squinted, and made out the features of a little girl trekking toward us. I waited until she reached the cave, unmoving. If she came inside without noticing us, she was just exploring and there was nothing we could do about it. But if...
“Hello?” Her voice called out. I stumbled to my feet.
“Yes?” Excitement was growing, as well as pity- this meant that someone had joined us, but it also meant that someone was unfortunate enough to partake of this curse.
“Who are you? How can you hear me?” So she's already found
“I'm not entirely sure who I am, or was,” I responded, thinking it was the most fitting and true answer, “But who I am now is an anonymous girl slowly fading away.”
“What's your name?”
“What's yours?”
The girl opened her mouth to speak, but soon her mouth shut. “I'm not sure.”
“You're the same as we are.”
“Who's 'we'?”
“The Forgotten. You've joined us somehow.”
“No one remembers me?” The girl's voice was shaking. She seemed about nine, nine years younger than I was.
I shook my head sadly. “At least you've found us,” I replied weakly. Maybe it would've been better if I hadn't told her of her fate yet. She sat down on the ground and hugged her knees. I knew it was hard to accept- and she looked like she might cry. She didn't, though, but it made me feel guilty even though I knew the truth would come out someday.
“Isn't-” She choked with trembling voice, “Isn't there a way to-” She faltered again, “Stop it?”
“Fading? No. I'm afraid there's not.”
“Then there's no hope?”
“No. It doesn't matter what the odds are, there's still hope- the question is whether it'll do any good or not.” I wondered if I should stop talking, since that seemed to dim her little light. At least it didn't put it out altogether.
“Come inside. Night is falling.”
She nodded faintly, stumbling inside as if in a daze.
Night, indeed, did fall, but I lay awake, turned toward the cavewall. I didn't have to worry about safety- wolves, cougars, any creature- none could hurt us. None could touch us, catch any trace of us. The only indication that we existed were that our voices carried softly on the wind and came to ears as whispers.
So some theories said that when a citizen of our specific town was forgotten, they became a whisper, and echo of their old self, not at all as conscious as we were in reality. Most just ignored or didn't even know about the Forgotten, but for those who actively had them on their mind, many speculations formed, but there was still a barrier between the Forgotten and the humans.
A barrier that seemed it could not be broken. The Forgotten seemed and might very well have been a broken branch off the species of human. But why did we become what we were when we were completely forgotten? Why did we fade away and become lost forever? How could we stop it? Was there a way? I tossed and turned until I finally drifted to sleep.
Contemplation
Morning light illuminated the frontal stretches of the cave in golden splendor.
Crisp autumn air poured in through the entrance, and I sat up, blinking. I stood and made my way calmly to the entrance of the cave.
Every day, every night, was near to the same thing. Suddenly I noticed something high in the air- a bird? It was large enough that most humans would've taken cover for fear of an attack, but my kind didn't have that kind of fear. It was a side effect that took much of the excitement from life- the will to survive. We couldn't really be killed and there was no way to halt our fading, so we just accepted our fate- most of us- and went on with our dulling lives without care of anything.
It was more exhausting than living in the real world, struggling, that is, knowing that there was much more out there, and having experienced the richness of it, and it being so close to you but so far from your reach. We were the unfortunate recipients of an unconditional curse. It struck at random, and there was no cure. Hardly any of the humans even cared. At least, they tried not to, to keep themselves from stressing over it, but they did pity us and loathed the idea of becoming one of us.
The birdlike being dropped close enough to me that I could barely discern what it was. An airborne feline, soaring through the wind currents as if it were a dolphin in water. It looked much like a cougar but with the hooked beak of a hawk and the great wings of one. These wings were gigantic and as strong as spider silk with iron weaved into the very fibers, since to hold up such a large animal they had to be. Its claws were talonlike, and when the beak opened it showed jagged teeth. The creature had no tail, since to be able to fly it would need the necessary (and large) tail feathers. The feral creature reminded me that we, the Forgotten, were the single only beings in existence that couldn't enjoy many aspects of the life taken from us, and wished we could have the same drive for living as others. We wanted to continue existing, even in this state, but there was nothing we could do to change the inevitable, so we couldn't even do that.
I didn't know what kept me from going insane, or something close to it. It could've been the sliver of hope I still clung to. I had accepted what was going to happen to me, but I still left room for hope. I was beginning to piece together exactly who I'd been before I'd become what I was- I'd been restless, always seeking for excitement, doing anything and everything that would either catch others' attention or entertain myself. I still cared about others, but I was more selfish than I'd normally admit. I still couldn't recall my name, but I knew I would soon.
But now... I felt that my, though difficult, acceptance of the future had made me more serene, and more empathetic. If only I could exist long enough to let my somewhat improved self go out into the world and actually do a little good, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. And I accepted it. I probably remained a little too calm about everything now, even to the point of indifference, though I knew things could, possibly, change, it was in the back of my mind. I was still not without my faults.
But I accepted that as well.
Part 3- Meaning
“Are you sure there's nothing to be done?”
The little girl pressed.
“Yes. I'm sure.” I was starting to get a little irritated with her. She kept asking the same sort of questions, incessantly.
“I can't believe that. There has to be a way.”
“No, there doesn't,” I argued in a hard voice. “Now get over it.”
“'Get over it'? Get over the fact that I'm going to stop existing soon?” Though she didn't sound upset, I could see it in her eyes. She was holding it in since she wanted to seem older than she was. I understood the feeling- she didn't want to be a little girl who was afraid of this situation. I knew I was making her feel worse and worse, but in the heat of the moment, I didn't care.
“Yes! We all have!”
“Then you've all given up.”
I groaned. “We haven't given up. We've just accepted the inevitable. They're different.”
She shook her head. “Not this time. That's just an excuse. You don't want to solve the problem.”
“Yes, we do! It doesn't matter. You won't fade for awhile now.”
“Who cares about the future- we're not dying yet, right?”
For a nine-year-old, she drives a strong argument. I didn't know how to answer.
“You're not even going to try. Ridiculous.”
“Don't think you know more than we do-”
“Do I not? Think of something you've done to at least try to help the Forgotten.”
I opened my mouth to spill many answers, but none came to mind. There were none. I shut my mouth, clenching my teeth, with my only response the shake of my head. The girl sighed in anger and exasperation and stalked away.
As I cooled off, I realized that she was right. We had to at least try. But was it worth the effort? We were going to die anyway, regardless of when it happened. What was the worry with fading away? It was, in essence, its own slow, natural disaster.
But she hasn't lived a full life, or what she feels like is a full life, Part of me piped up. The other side fought back, Sometimes children die too. The internal battle issued onward, And you want it to happen more? The other half of me went silent.
Frustrated, I buried my face in my hands and rubbed my temples. I wasn't going to live long enough to help her anyway. Why worry about it?
“You're not even going to try.” Those words echoed back to me. That was why. The only reason the Forgotten were even a race was because they hadn't built themselves a strong enough legacy to prevent being forgotten. If I did try, would it be the solution, or at least would it leave behind a legacy, even if it was forgotten the moment I vanished from reality? At least I would fade knowing I had tried to better the world. I might actually find something.
I followed the girl out of the cave. I heard faint noises from atop the hill, so I hiked to the summit of the rise and saw her there, crying softly. My heart plummeted, and I didn't dare speak. I sat down on the grass and waited. She continued for awhile, but after she had no more tears to shed, she stood up, wiped her face dry, and looked to the clouds. I mirrored her action, and realized that the world was still beautiful, no matter if we were aware of how alone we were and how little others remembered of us.
The cotton floating in the sea of pale blue was just as calm and constant, the sun as bright, the air as warm, the scent of autumn as refreshing and beautiful, the whistle of the wind as melodious as the song of a bluebird, and the trees as vibrant and colorful. I realized then that the girl could teach me more than I'd thought by keeping her flame of hope, which was considerably brighter than mine, burning away at her fear. A sort of childlike determination showed in her eyes.
Not childish and immature, but childlike, which at times was a virtue all of its own.
Her brown hair twisted in the wind, clear blue eyes staring out across the landscape viewable from the hill. My own eyes, a stormy shade of gray, watched every movement. Each time I followed her gaze, I saw another small wonder of the world- a bird learning how to fly, branches swaying peacefully in the breeze, a powerful hawk-cougar tenderly caring for its offspring. Slowly a smile began to spread across her face. I couldn't help but mimic the action. The world had not changed around us as we, ourselves, had been altered to something below what we'd been before. This trial was our own to bear, not the world's.
Slowly our connection was being severed from the very universe, but the universe went on, flourishing. But what did it mean? Did it mean that we were worthless, and that we were of little to no consequence in the world?
The girl turned. I started, but when she saw me, she wasn't surprised. “I noticed you a few minutes ago. I was wondering when you'd do something, but you had me waiting too long. What are you doing?”
“I...” I cleared my throat, trying my best to straighten myself. “I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. You're right.” My pride was angry at me, but I felt a little lighter from apologizing. I knew what it felt like to be near to utterly hopeless.
“I know I'm right.” She smiled a little, somewhat childishly. It came to the light that though she could be learned from, valuable lessons, in fact, she was far from perfect, and far from entirely mature. “...And that means you're wrong.”
I sensed a deeper meaning in that. It was a little humbling, that she knew and completely accepted that all of us had our own faults, but since she believed so thoroughly in progression, it meant that even at her considerably young age, she understood that things could change, and drastically. I blinked.
“Are you ready to start trying?” There was a trace of bitterness in her voice, but it was lost in the veiled excitement.
“Yes.”
Attempt
Breath puffed from my icy mouth, seeming to freeze in midair, becoming distinctly white among the clear. “Why do we have to do this?” I panted.
“Because,” The girl reminded me, “It's the first step to finding the origin of the Forgotten.”
“But climbing a mountain? In autumn?”
“How much longer do you have to live?”
“I don't know!”
“Exactly.”
We continued in silence. Days seemed to pass, and the air became ever thinner, until finally we reached the grand summit.
Abruptly I faltered. Hanging dormant in the air was a void. It took away my breath and seemed to repel me. It was nothing.
It seemed that there was a rip in the fabric of reality, and this was it. The nine-year-old girl stared straight into it, watching the pulsing nothingness, and took a step forward. Out of random, she said,
“Athi.”
“What?”
“My name. Athi.”
I was taken aback. “B-but... That only happens at the height of Fading! You can't.”
“Yet I did.”
“You're different, aren't you?”
“Apparently.”
“How?”
“That's what we're going to find out.”
I tried to join Athi by her side, but I couldn't. The void held me back. Athi walked straight into the abyss, and just like that, she was gone.
“Athi!”
I pushed against the force holding me back, struggled, but to no avail. Athi did not return for hours. I made many futile attempts to charging in after her. I considered leaving but never did. I sat, I changed positions, I even tried to sleep at one point. Nothing.
I lay down on the mountain's peak, legs dangling off the edge, and stared into the misty sky. What was out there, beyond what we could see and find? There was more, but could we find it? There had to be things we could discover, far beyond... And I'd never be around long enough to see any of them. Was there more for the Forgotten to discover? Most likely. But again, I'd never see any of it. I'd be absent from all of it.
Suddenly Athi appeared, unchanged, and nearly made me leap out of my skin. “Athi!” I yelped.
“What?”
“How long were you in there?”
“I don't know, twenty minu-”
“No, that doesn't matter right now. How did you get in there? What is it?”
“I told you. I'm different,” She responded simply, shrugging her shoulders. “It's a void. We can't be sucked in, and neither can anything in reality, or basically anything except... Me. Inside, I found a Forgotten suspended in the depthless void. He couldn't hear me or talk to me. I don't think he was aware of my presence. I walked aimlessly until I fell off some kind of edge and into a mirage of a plane of existence. I found my way to a door and wound up back here.”
“Why'd you go without me?”
“If you'd been able to come I wouldn't have had to say anything. If you hadn't, I would've left you waiting, worried, in the first place, so why bother with a conversation about if I should enter or not?”
I sighed, exasperated, and shook my head, but said nothing.
“Should we continue?”
“Fine. What do you think that void was?”
“I'm not sure...”
We thought for a moment. “Well... What happens when a Forgotten fades?”
“I don't know.”
“Their reality and themselves, the very particles and energies that put them together, blink out of existence when they fade... So creating a black hole.”
“Why can't it be entered?”
“Apparently it can. By you.”
Athi sat on the ground. “This means that when you fade, I can enter your void and see you. But will you really be there?”
I felt a little downcast that the idea of me fading from the world wouldn't sadden her more than she let on. “I don't know. But you'll forget me too, so what's the point? You won't know it was me.”
“How would I not?”
“We're riding on guesses. How is that better than not trying at all?”
“Well,” Athi pointed out, “I don't think you'll fade yet. So let's go.”
Lost Home
The next place we voyaged to was the actual city, to compare Athi with normal humans. First of all, she tried speaking with those she recognized. There were few, since she wasn't even meant to remember them, but there were some. “It's Athi,” She told them, but none heard.
After not a long time we gave up and tried thinking of ways to lead a human to a known place of a void. To our apparent field of thought, there was none. We moved on.
“Why do Forgotten become Forgotten?”
“Because all ties to their past are severed,” Was my immediate response.
“Well... Why would one be different, then?”
“They... Had a stronger legacy?”
“Exactly.”
“But you're nine.”
“I can still be remembered,” She sniffed. “Everyone ceased to know about me, but after I started the process of being a Forgotten, a name started to echo in their minds, they began to recall a little girl who had somehow impacted their lives. My parents should begin to piece them together by no-”
“Wait. Your parents? They're still alive?”
She looked away. “Yes,” She whispered quietly.
“How?”
“I ran away.”
“Why?”
“It was a few years ago. I was foolish. I didn't understand how my actions could effect the consequences of my life and how it would effect my parents, and I wanted to see the world without a burden, I didn't want to work on the farm or in the mines when I was older, and I didn't want to deal with taking part in a household. Over time, as I began to miss them, they forgot me. Now I'm their lost little girl they know is never coming home...” She trailed off, tears gathering in her eyes.
She leaned against me, and I awkwardly put an arm around her. I'd never had younger siblings, but I did feel pity and wanted to comfort her.
That was why she seemed so independent. That was why she was somewhat more mature than others in her age. But she wasn't really meant to be this way, and she knew that. The reason behind it was what made her cry with hopelessness, since she couldn't call on her parents to help her in her search for a path to find her way home. Her heart ached for longing just to see them again, and for them to know that she was there.
I had to hold her for a long time, knowing that she had begun to see me as a kind of older sister, a kind of guardian from the world. A friend when all had mistakenly deserted her.
My soul had started to hunger for another way to making this bleak fading full of life. For a way to know I helped the world move on while I passed out of it. She let me know that there was another way, somewhere out there, and that we had to believe in it instead of accept that we were probably never going to find it.
“I'm here now,” I whispered finally. “I'll help you. I'll protect you. All until we find the way to become remembered again.”
Athi nodded a little. Silence fell once again. Then Athi moved away from me. “We should keep going,” She told me, voice trembling and soft. I nodded, and we continued walking.
Memory
Thoughts swirled in my head, the now small blocked portion of my memories frustrating me a little. Suddenly I jolted to a stop as I felt some of the cloud dissipate from that part of my mind. My name flashed into clear view: Ennis. Ennis Illuce, Illuce translating into 'light' from the formal way of speaking Eviath, our mother language.
“What is it?” Athi seemed to have returned to normal now, and she looked puzzled.
“My name,” I replied with escalating panic in my tone. Though it was mainly a negative emotion, it made me feel... Alive again.
Her eyes went wide with understanding. “Your name? You know it now?”
“Ennis Illuce. Yes.”
“How long do you have?”
“I don't know. Not long.” I shivered. What would happen when I faded? When I became that lifeless void?
“Hurry! We have to find another void, see if they're all the same, before you fade!”
“What?”
“I have a theory!”
We ran nowhere in particular. It took longer than I would have liked, the wind rushing around us, creating a sensation that I would normally enjoy, to reach a void. It startled me to see it, especially stark against the plain. Sections of air might as well have fallen away to reveal utter nothingness. Athi raced into it at full speed, and I watched her be sucked into it. It seemed only a minute later- which, later, to my recognition, made sense, since time was strange in the void- that she reemerged, panting.
“It's beautiful,” She began. “Breathtaking. There's an entire world in there- I don't know how it came to be.” Hope sparkled in her eyes as a smile crept to her face, “But this means we can fill the void.”
I took in a sharp breath. “It's not hopeless after all?”
She flashed me a grin. “See what I told you? We did find something.”
I let out a yelp as a shard of my sight unexpectedly broke away, leaving a large blot of darkness where it had been. I could no longer see anything there.
“What is it?” Athi was instantly alert.
“My vision... Part of it's gone. A section of it just... Fell away.”
Athi paused, then spoke the unspoken words. “It's going to happen sooner than we thought.”
It was difficult to adjust to only seeing partially, but I grew accustomed, slowly. Athi led me to a secluded spot in the forest. “Now what?”
“Now... What will you do when I fade?”
“I don't know, to be honest.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I realized I'd never see my newfound friend again. “What's going to happen to me?” My voice was hoarse, and I couldn't bear to look at her.
“I'm not sure,” Athi told me softly, “But remember- you can fill the void. Somehow.”
“How?”
“That's for you to find out. You have eternity after this to figure it out, don't you?”
“I don't know. How will I figure it out?”
“You'll try.” Athi tried a smile, a little mischievously.
“But what about you? I'll never-” I choked a little, “See you again.”
“Who knows? Maybe you can. You just have to keep on trying.”
I felt warmth seep into my heart, and a smile to my face. Taking advice from a nine-year-old was never as rewarding as with this particular one.
Part 4- Void and Creation
(alternate name: Endless)
Abruptly my entire sight collapsed into pure darkness and I fell into it. That is to say, blackness. The abyss. Tears were my natural response, and I fell to the depthless ground, panic and utter hopelessness filling my entire self. Overcome, I lay in the timeless vastness for a length of time completely unknown to me or any other.
The feelings began to fade, though, as I remembered the bittersweet memories of Athi. She had brought a spark of hope to my life after my partial death, the last friend I ever had, the only friend I ever recalled in full. I knew what she meant to me, what she stood for in my life. Still caring after the fight seemed over. Hanging on to lifesaving hope when all seemed lost. Seeing beauty in life all around me. And now she was gone. Or was it I who was gone? It didn't matter. But she'd told me to try. To continue attempting what seemed vain.
And with remembrance of her, a light appeared. It blinded me for a second, but soon I could look at it fully. I squinted a little, but what I saw was a pinprick of pure brightness, like a miniscule sun. As hope caught flame, the light grew with it, pulsing and increasing in volume until it seemed an actual sun from the view of my world, Rienne. But it was somehow...
Brighter. No, it had more meaning to me, and that made it seem brighter, more exuberant, than any other would. I now understood how the world in Athi's second void expedition had been created- hope, pushing away all fear, panic, and doubt.
I created a sky, trees stretching into it, a ground beneath my feet, foliage, undergrowth, my own unique creatures. This dreamlike world was limitless. And it was caused by Athi. Athi, because, when I had given up, she had spurred me on again, gave me reason to the short, tail-end of my life. A new beginning had been created, my dawn for vast creations to come, a blank canvas and a palette with more colors than comprehensible to the human mind, a paintbrush more delicate and its strokes more beautiful than any earthly kind.
And it clearly illustrated what happiness throughout trial and growth afterwards could be. After my happiness and progression in my Fading stage, I had literally grown my own world. Most importantly, I, myself, had been taught vital lessons. All from that young girl with an unfortunate present but a bright future. Because of what she believed so firmly.
In years to come, after the time when I began walking into the real world that could no more be called a void, I heard a whisper, one much like those that the Forgotten made, carried from reality to my realm, that was perhaps the most important occurrence in that entire new world.
I still remember you.
)Part 1- End's Beginning
Evening light filtered in through the canopy of leaves.
Athi blinked and sat up, attempting to remember why she was here and when she had come. Nothing was coaxed from her memories. Confused, she took to her feet and stared around, narrowing her eyes. Nothing gave any clue to why she was here, what she had forgotten, anything. The girl began walking in no particular direction, wind playing with her long, plain brown hair. She continued on this way until she met a path.
Ambling along it for what it seemed hours on end- and might well have been- Athi finally came to where the path stopped. It was a village with people bustling around to their business, milling through the marketplace to purchase goods. Athi felt instantly comforted. They could help her find her way to whatever home she had. She marched up determinedly to the blacksmith and chirped a short inquiry, “Can you give me directions?”
The blacksmith didn't falter in his work or even take a glance upward. Athi sniffed. She repeated herself, but to no avail. Suddenly she felt a slightly painful tingling from her shoulder, and she yelped upon turning.
A hand was reaching directly through her shoulder as if she were made of naught but air! It rested on the desk as the person asked the blacksmith about his wares. He glanced over in Athi's direction, but evidently seeing nothing there, continued to speak to the smith. The blacksmith, hard at work, glanced up andnodded, then spoke in answer to the question. Athi was far too startled and unsettled that she didn't even think to be upset with the blacksmith for ignoring her.
Athi, being a very imaginative child, began to realize what had happened very quickly. She had simply lost all tangibility. The air seemed colder and the sun seemed darker as she came to this conclusion.
Part 2- Bitter World
The feline-avian hybrid dove earthward in a spiraling streak approaching its prey.
Its eyes glistened with anticipation of the hunt, but the large rodent it was after sped across the ground and into the woods, pursued by the cougar-bird. I watched from afar.
Prepared for another of the seemingly endless days of emptiness, I stared out the cave entrance, arms folded on a jutting rock, rounded enough that it seemed a sphere in the process of melting through the ground. Fading had taken away the rest of my life just after I'd slipped out of childhood. I pitied those who had been younger than I when it had begun, but we shared the same fate. All I could do was stare out at the city and yearn to be home again. But I could not and never would return. I'd never see my family again. Recently I'd begun recovering information about them- people say that's what happens when we begin to fade. I had a mother named Yurei, from the east, and a father named Tesh, from the south. I had no siblings except a single brother, a few years older than me, who had left years ago to fight in the war which had ended long ago, and never returned. It was my fear that he had become one of us as well but never found any others to join with. His name had been Leoth, and I'd only known him for a few years.
I remembered awaking as the Forgotten always do on the peakof a mountain, with nothing around me. I was not afraid, I didn't have enough of myself to feel anything- but I felt a sense of despair, not a feeling, that I had lost something. Lostmy cornerstone.
The current view was of a rolling plain giving way to a deciduous woodland, with a large village nestled into the forest, the farthest edge at the end of the wood. A few trees, some dead or decaying, dotted the vast plains. Many hills rose up among the mainly flat land, including the one that held our cave. Mountains peaked just above the horizon, some far off and others nearby.
Technically, I wasn't alive anymore; or was I? My heart still beat, I still took air to breathe, I still required food and water. But it wasn't the same. Food had lost its taste long ago, and water its refreshment. Air was no longer sweet and my blood seemed cold, barely keeping me alive. Life had lost many of its joys when I'd become Forgotten.
A strange occurrence in our town was that when one was forgotten, they lost all memory of anything they'd previously known and begun to fade out of existence. My parents had died of old age roughly a year ago and so I'd become beyond recollection. And so I joined the appropriately named group- the Forgotten. Most of us had lost our loved ones or become lost ourselves. Others had been exiled or another unfortunate fate had befallen them. And 'colonies' of us had formed. We were held together by a single, common thread, and we could not save each other from being forgotten. No matter how much we thought of another, when they faded we didn't remember them at all or what we had attempted. The name of 'colonies' reminded me a bit too much of leper colonies- isolated, forsaken, unwanted.
Suddenly I spotted something. I squinted, and made out the features of a little girl trekking toward us. I waited until she reached the cave, unmoving. If she came inside without noticing us, she was just exploring and there was nothing we could do about it. But if...
“Hello?” Her voice called out. I stumbled to my feet.
“Yes?” Excitement was growing, as well as pity- this meant that someone had joined us, but it also meant that someone was unfortunate enough to partake of this curse.
“Who are you? How can you hear me?” So she's already found
“I'm not entirely sure who I am, or was,” I responded, thinking it was the most fitting and true answer, “But who I am now is an anonymous girl slowly fading away.”
“What's your name?”
“What's yours?”
The girl opened her mouth to speak, but soon her mouth shut. “I'm not sure.”
“You're the same as we are.”
“Who's 'we'?”
“The Forgotten. You've joined us somehow.”
“No one remembers me?” The girl's voice was shaking. She seemed about nine, nine years younger than I was.
I shook my head sadly. “At least you've found us,” I replied weakly. Maybe it would've been better if I hadn't told her of her fate yet. She sat down on the ground and hugged her knees. I knew it was hard to accept- and she looked like she might cry. She didn't, though, but it made me feel guilty even though I knew the truth would come out someday.
“Isn't-” She choked with trembling voice, “Isn't there a way to-” She faltered again, “Stop it?”
“Fading? No. I'm afraid there's not.”
“Then there's no hope?”
“No. It doesn't matter what the odds are, there's still hope- the question is whether it'll do any good or not.” I wondered if I should stop talking, since that seemed to dim her little light. At least it didn't put it out altogether.
“Come inside. Night is falling.”
She nodded faintly, stumbling inside as if in a daze.
Night, indeed, did fall, but I lay awake, turned toward the cavewall. I didn't have to worry about safety- wolves, cougars, any creature- none could hurt us. None could touch us, catch any trace of us. The only indication that we existed were that our voices carried softly on the wind and came to ears as whispers.
So some theories said that when a citizen of our specific town was forgotten, they became a whisper, and echo of their old self, not at all as conscious as we were in reality. Most just ignored or didn't even know about the Forgotten, but for those who actively had them on their mind, many speculations formed, but there was still a barrier between the Forgotten and the humans.
A barrier that seemed it could not be broken. The Forgotten seemed and might very well have been a broken branch off the species of human. But why did we become what we were when we were completely forgotten? Why did we fade away and become lost forever? How could we stop it? Was there a way? I tossed and turned until I finally drifted to sleep.
Contemplation
Morning light illuminated the frontal stretches of the cave in golden splendor.
Crisp autumn air poured in through the entrance, and I sat up, blinking. I stood and made my way calmly to the entrance of the cave.
Every day, every night, was near to the same thing. Suddenly I noticed something high in the air- a bird? It was large enough that most humans would've taken cover for fear of an attack, but my kind didn't have that kind of fear. It was a side effect that took much of the excitement from life- the will to survive. We couldn't really be killed and there was no way to halt our fading, so we just accepted our fate- most of us- and went on with our dulling lives without care of anything.
It was more exhausting than living in the real world, struggling, that is, knowing that there was much more out there, and having experienced the richness of it, and it being so close to you but so far from your reach. We were the unfortunate recipients of an unconditional curse. It struck at random, and there was no cure. Hardly any of the humans even cared. At least, they tried not to, to keep themselves from stressing over it, but they did pity us and loathed the idea of becoming one of us.
The birdlike being dropped close enough to me that I could barely discern what it was. An airborne feline, soaring through the wind currents as if it were a dolphin in water. It looked much like a cougar but with the hooked beak of a hawk and the great wings of one. These wings were gigantic and as strong as spider silk with iron weaved into the very fibers, since to hold up such a large animal they had to be. Its claws were talonlike, and when the beak opened it showed jagged teeth. The creature had no tail, since to be able to fly it would need the necessary (and large) tail feathers. The feral creature reminded me that we, the Forgotten, were the single only beings in existence that couldn't enjoy many aspects of the life taken from us, and wished we could have the same drive for living as others. We wanted to continue existing, even in this state, but there was nothing we could do to change the inevitable, so we couldn't even do that.
I didn't know what kept me from going insane, or something close to it. It could've been the sliver of hope I still clung to. I had accepted what was going to happen to me, but I still left room for hope. I was beginning to piece together exactly who I'd been before I'd become what I was- I'd been restless, always seeking for excitement, doing anything and everything that would either catch others' attention or entertain myself. I still cared about others, but I was more selfish than I'd normally admit. I still couldn't recall my name, but I knew I would soon.
But now... I felt that my, though difficult, acceptance of the future had made me more serene, and more empathetic. If only I could exist long enough to let my somewhat improved self go out into the world and actually do a little good, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. And I accepted it. I probably remained a little too calm about everything now, even to the point of indifference, though I knew things could, possibly, change, it was in the back of my mind. I was still not without my faults.
But I accepted that as well.
Part 3- Meaning
“Are you sure there's nothing to be done?”
The little girl pressed.
“Yes. I'm sure.” I was starting to get a little irritated with her. She kept asking the same sort of questions, incessantly.
“I can't believe that. There has to be a way.”
“No, there doesn't,” I argued in a hard voice. “Now get over it.”
“'Get over it'? Get over the fact that I'm going to stop existing soon?” Though she didn't sound upset, I could see it in her eyes. She was holding it in since she wanted to seem older than she was. I understood the feeling- she didn't want to be a little girl who was afraid of this situation. I knew I was making her feel worse and worse, but in the heat of the moment, I didn't care.
“Yes! We all have!”
“Then you've all given up.”
I groaned. “We haven't given up. We've just accepted the inevitable. They're different.”
She shook her head. “Not this time. That's just an excuse. You don't want to solve the problem.”
“Yes, we do! It doesn't matter. You won't fade for awhile now.”
“Who cares about the future- we're not dying yet, right?”
For a nine-year-old, she drives a strong argument. I didn't know how to answer.
“You're not even going to try. Ridiculous.”
“Don't think you know more than we do-”
“Do I not? Think of something you've done to at least try to help the Forgotten.”
I opened my mouth to spill many answers, but none came to mind. There were none. I shut my mouth, clenching my teeth, with my only response the shake of my head. The girl sighed in anger and exasperation and stalked away.
As I cooled off, I realized that she was right. We had to at least try. But was it worth the effort? We were going to die anyway, regardless of when it happened. What was the worry with fading away? It was, in essence, its own slow, natural disaster.
But she hasn't lived a full life, or what she feels like is a full life, Part of me piped up. The other side fought back, Sometimes children die too. The internal battle issued onward, And you want it to happen more? The other half of me went silent.
Frustrated, I buried my face in my hands and rubbed my temples. I wasn't going to live long enough to help her anyway. Why worry about it?
“You're not even going to try.” Those words echoed back to me. That was why. The only reason the Forgotten were even a race was because they hadn't built themselves a strong enough legacy to prevent being forgotten. If I did try, would it be the solution, or at least would it leave behind a legacy, even if it was forgotten the moment I vanished from reality? At least I would fade knowing I had tried to better the world. I might actually find something.
I followed the girl out of the cave. I heard faint noises from atop the hill, so I hiked to the summit of the rise and saw her there, crying softly. My heart plummeted, and I didn't dare speak. I sat down on the grass and waited. She continued for awhile, but after she had no more tears to shed, she stood up, wiped her face dry, and looked to the clouds. I mirrored her action, and realized that the world was still beautiful, no matter if we were aware of how alone we were and how little others remembered of us.
The cotton floating in the sea of pale blue was just as calm and constant, the sun as bright, the air as warm, the scent of autumn as refreshing and beautiful, the whistle of the wind as melodious as the song of a bluebird, and the trees as vibrant and colorful. I realized then that the girl could teach me more than I'd thought by keeping her flame of hope, which was considerably brighter than mine, burning away at her fear. A sort of childlike determination showed in her eyes.
Not childish and immature, but childlike, which at times was a virtue all of its own.
Her brown hair twisted in the wind, clear blue eyes staring out across the landscape viewable from the hill. My own eyes, a stormy shade of gray, watched every movement. Each time I followed her gaze, I saw another small wonder of the world- a bird learning how to fly, branches swaying peacefully in the breeze, a powerful hawk-cougar tenderly caring for its offspring. Slowly a smile began to spread across her face. I couldn't help but mimic the action. The world had not changed around us as we, ourselves, had been altered to something below what we'd been before. This trial was our own to bear, not the world's.
Slowly our connection was being severed from the very universe, but the universe went on, flourishing. But what did it mean? Did it mean that we were worthless, and that we were of little to no consequence in the world?
The girl turned. I started, but when she saw me, she wasn't surprised. “I noticed you a few minutes ago. I was wondering when you'd do something, but you had me waiting too long. What are you doing?”
“I...” I cleared my throat, trying my best to straighten myself. “I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. You're right.” My pride was angry at me, but I felt a little lighter from apologizing. I knew what it felt like to be near to utterly hopeless.
“I know I'm right.” She smiled a little, somewhat childishly. It came to the light that though she could be learned from, valuable lessons, in fact, she was far from perfect, and far from entirely mature. “...And that means you're wrong.”
I sensed a deeper meaning in that. It was a little humbling, that she knew and completely accepted that all of us had our own faults, but since she believed so thoroughly in progression, it meant that even at her considerably young age, she understood that things could change, and drastically. I blinked.
“Are you ready to start trying?” There was a trace of bitterness in her voice, but it was lost in the veiled excitement.
“Yes.”
Attempt
Breath puffed from my icy mouth, seeming to freeze in midair, becoming distinctly white among the clear. “Why do we have to do this?” I panted.
“Because,” The girl reminded me, “It's the first step to finding the origin of the Forgotten.”
“But climbing a mountain? In autumn?”
“How much longer do you have to live?”
“I don't know!”
“Exactly.”
We continued in silence. Days seemed to pass, and the air became ever thinner, until finally we reached the grand summit.
Abruptly I faltered. Hanging dormant in the air was a void. It took away my breath and seemed to repel me. It was nothing.
It seemed that there was a rip in the fabric of reality, and this was it. The nine-year-old girl stared straight into it, watching the pulsing nothingness, and took a step forward. Out of random, she said,
“Athi.”
“What?”
“My name. Athi.”
I was taken aback. “B-but... That only happens at the height of Fading! You can't.”
“Yet I did.”
“You're different, aren't you?”
“Apparently.”
“How?”
“That's what we're going to find out.”
I tried to join Athi by her side, but I couldn't. The void held me back. Athi walked straight into the abyss, and just like that, she was gone.
“Athi!”
I pushed against the force holding me back, struggled, but to no avail. Athi did not return for hours. I made many futile attempts to charging in after her. I considered leaving but never did. I sat, I changed positions, I even tried to sleep at one point. Nothing.
I lay down on the mountain's peak, legs dangling off the edge, and stared into the misty sky. What was out there, beyond what we could see and find? There was more, but could we find it? There had to be things we could discover, far beyond... And I'd never be around long enough to see any of them. Was there more for the Forgotten to discover? Most likely. But again, I'd never see any of it. I'd be absent from all of it.
Suddenly Athi appeared, unchanged, and nearly made me leap out of my skin. “Athi!” I yelped.
“What?”
“How long were you in there?”
“I don't know, twenty minu-”
“No, that doesn't matter right now. How did you get in there? What is it?”
“I told you. I'm different,” She responded simply, shrugging her shoulders. “It's a void. We can't be sucked in, and neither can anything in reality, or basically anything except... Me. Inside, I found a Forgotten suspended in the depthless void. He couldn't hear me or talk to me. I don't think he was aware of my presence. I walked aimlessly until I fell off some kind of edge and into a mirage of a plane of existence. I found my way to a door and wound up back here.”
“Why'd you go without me?”
“If you'd been able to come I wouldn't have had to say anything. If you hadn't, I would've left you waiting, worried, in the first place, so why bother with a conversation about if I should enter or not?”
I sighed, exasperated, and shook my head, but said nothing.
“Should we continue?”
“Fine. What do you think that void was?”
“I'm not sure...”
We thought for a moment. “Well... What happens when a Forgotten fades?”
“I don't know.”
“Their reality and themselves, the very particles and energies that put them together, blink out of existence when they fade... So creating a black hole.”
“Why can't it be entered?”
“Apparently it can. By you.”
Athi sat on the ground. “This means that when you fade, I can enter your void and see you. But will you really be there?”
I felt a little downcast that the idea of me fading from the world wouldn't sadden her more than she let on. “I don't know. But you'll forget me too, so what's the point? You won't know it was me.”
“How would I not?”
“We're riding on guesses. How is that better than not trying at all?”
“Well,” Athi pointed out, “I don't think you'll fade yet. So let's go.”
Lost Home
The next place we voyaged to was the actual city, to compare Athi with normal humans. First of all, she tried speaking with those she recognized. There were few, since she wasn't even meant to remember them, but there were some. “It's Athi,” She told them, but none heard.
After not a long time we gave up and tried thinking of ways to lead a human to a known place of a void. To our apparent field of thought, there was none. We moved on.
“Why do Forgotten become Forgotten?”
“Because all ties to their past are severed,” Was my immediate response.
“Well... Why would one be different, then?”
“They... Had a stronger legacy?”
“Exactly.”
“But you're nine.”
“I can still be remembered,” She sniffed. “Everyone ceased to know about me, but after I started the process of being a Forgotten, a name started to echo in their minds, they began to recall a little girl who had somehow impacted their lives. My parents should begin to piece them together by no-”
“Wait. Your parents? They're still alive?”
She looked away. “Yes,” She whispered quietly.
“How?”
“I ran away.”
“Why?”
“It was a few years ago. I was foolish. I didn't understand how my actions could effect the consequences of my life and how it would effect my parents, and I wanted to see the world without a burden, I didn't want to work on the farm or in the mines when I was older, and I didn't want to deal with taking part in a household. Over time, as I began to miss them, they forgot me. Now I'm their lost little girl they know is never coming home...” She trailed off, tears gathering in her eyes.
She leaned against me, and I awkwardly put an arm around her. I'd never had younger siblings, but I did feel pity and wanted to comfort her.
That was why she seemed so independent. That was why she was somewhat more mature than others in her age. But she wasn't really meant to be this way, and she knew that. The reason behind it was what made her cry with hopelessness, since she couldn't call on her parents to help her in her search for a path to find her way home. Her heart ached for longing just to see them again, and for them to know that she was there.
I had to hold her for a long time, knowing that she had begun to see me as a kind of older sister, a kind of guardian from the world. A friend when all had mistakenly deserted her.
My soul had started to hunger for another way to making this bleak fading full of life. For a way to know I helped the world move on while I passed out of it. She let me know that there was another way, somewhere out there, and that we had to believe in it instead of accept that we were probably never going to find it.
“I'm here now,” I whispered finally. “I'll help you. I'll protect you. All until we find the way to become remembered again.”
Athi nodded a little. Silence fell once again. Then Athi moved away from me. “We should keep going,” She told me, voice trembling and soft. I nodded, and we continued walking.
Memory
Thoughts swirled in my head, the now small blocked portion of my memories frustrating me a little. Suddenly I jolted to a stop as I felt some of the cloud dissipate from that part of my mind. My name flashed into clear view: Ennis. Ennis Illuce, Illuce translating into 'light' from the formal way of speaking Eviath, our mother language.
“What is it?” Athi seemed to have returned to normal now, and she looked puzzled.
“My name,” I replied with escalating panic in my tone. Though it was mainly a negative emotion, it made me feel... Alive again.
Her eyes went wide with understanding. “Your name? You know it now?”
“Ennis Illuce. Yes.”
“How long do you have?”
“I don't know. Not long.” I shivered. What would happen when I faded? When I became that lifeless void?
“Hurry! We have to find another void, see if they're all the same, before you fade!”
“What?”
“I have a theory!”
We ran nowhere in particular. It took longer than I would have liked, the wind rushing around us, creating a sensation that I would normally enjoy, to reach a void. It startled me to see it, especially stark against the plain. Sections of air might as well have fallen away to reveal utter nothingness. Athi raced into it at full speed, and I watched her be sucked into it. It seemed only a minute later- which, later, to my recognition, made sense, since time was strange in the void- that she reemerged, panting.
“It's beautiful,” She began. “Breathtaking. There's an entire world in there- I don't know how it came to be.” Hope sparkled in her eyes as a smile crept to her face, “But this means we can fill the void.”
I took in a sharp breath. “It's not hopeless after all?”
She flashed me a grin. “See what I told you? We did find something.”
I let out a yelp as a shard of my sight unexpectedly broke away, leaving a large blot of darkness where it had been. I could no longer see anything there.
“What is it?” Athi was instantly alert.
“My vision... Part of it's gone. A section of it just... Fell away.”
Athi paused, then spoke the unspoken words. “It's going to happen sooner than we thought.”
It was difficult to adjust to only seeing partially, but I grew accustomed, slowly. Athi led me to a secluded spot in the forest. “Now what?”
“Now... What will you do when I fade?”
“I don't know, to be honest.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I realized I'd never see my newfound friend again. “What's going to happen to me?” My voice was hoarse, and I couldn't bear to look at her.
“I'm not sure,” Athi told me softly, “But remember- you can fill the void. Somehow.”
“How?”
“That's for you to find out. You have eternity after this to figure it out, don't you?”
“I don't know. How will I figure it out?”
“You'll try.” Athi tried a smile, a little mischievously.
“But what about you? I'll never-” I choked a little, “See you again.”
“Who knows? Maybe you can. You just have to keep on trying.”
I felt warmth seep into my heart, and a smile to my face. Taking advice from a nine-year-old was never as rewarding as with this particular one.
Part 4- Void and Creation
(alternate name: Endless)
Abruptly my entire sight collapsed into pure darkness and I fell into it. That is to say, blackness. The abyss. Tears were my natural response, and I fell to the depthless ground, panic and utter hopelessness filling my entire self. Overcome, I lay in the timeless vastness for a length of time completely unknown to me or any other.
The feelings began to fade, though, as I remembered the bittersweet memories of Athi. She had brought a spark of hope to my life after my partial death, the last friend I ever had, the only friend I ever recalled in full. I knew what she meant to me, what she stood for in my life. Still caring after the fight seemed over. Hanging on to lifesaving hope when all seemed lost. Seeing beauty in life all around me. And now she was gone. Or was it I who was gone? It didn't matter. But she'd told me to try. To continue attempting what seemed vain.
And with remembrance of her, a light appeared. It blinded me for a second, but soon I could look at it fully. I squinted a little, but what I saw was a pinprick of pure brightness, like a miniscule sun. As hope caught flame, the light grew with it, pulsing and increasing in volume until it seemed an actual sun from the view of my world, Rienne. But it was somehow...
Brighter. No, it had more meaning to me, and that made it seem brighter, more exuberant, than any other would. I now understood how the world in Athi's second void expedition had been created- hope, pushing away all fear, panic, and doubt.
I created a sky, trees stretching into it, a ground beneath my feet, foliage, undergrowth, my own unique creatures. This dreamlike world was limitless. And it was caused by Athi. Athi, because, when I had given up, she had spurred me on again, gave me reason to the short, tail-end of my life. A new beginning had been created, my dawn for vast creations to come, a blank canvas and a palette with more colors than comprehensible to the human mind, a paintbrush more delicate and its strokes more beautiful than any earthly kind.
And it clearly illustrated what happiness throughout trial and growth afterwards could be. After my happiness and progression in my Fading stage, I had literally grown my own world. Most importantly, I, myself, had been taught vital lessons. All from that young girl with an unfortunate present but a bright future. Because of what she believed so firmly.
In years to come, after the time when I began walking into the real world that could no more be called a void, I heard a whisper, one much like those that the Forgotten made, carried from reality to my realm, that was perhaps the most important occurrence in that entire new world.
I still remember you.
