Deathclan, the clan of random death

[Shadowrunner]

just a random fanfic Im making cause I have writers block, I'm bored, and I feel like trying to beat the "if firestar never came to thunderclan" post lol so here you go.


leader: Deadstar

Deputy: Rottingtail

Medicine cat: Deadheart, Apprentice: Mousedeath

Warriors

Nosmile

Missingtail

Lostheart

Bilefur

Guidelost

Tigerclaw

Willowdead

Fallenthrush

Peltshredder

Poisonedbird

Apprentices

Nopaw

Killpaw

Deathpaw

Hisspaw

Vilepaw

Queens

Redblood

Fangshred

Kits:

Deadkit

Soontobedeadkit

Annoyingkit

Leavekit

Goawaykit

(Soontobedeadkit is my favorite lol)


Deadstars Clan of Morons
Deadstar woke up to find that he was surrounded by his clanmates. “alright another day of leading these morons” he muttered under his breath, ignoring the fact that he should say mouse brain instead of moron. He went to the ledge that he stood at when he spoke to the clan and called out his unceremonial words. “All cats who are stupid or morons come gather under the death ledge, and by stupid or morons I mean all of you” he yowled, and the cats he commanded came to him, accepting that they were stupid and moronic. “I have something to say” he yowled again as everyone gathered under the death ledge. “I must say this, you all know that you are stupid, so let me just remind you again, I am your superior, you must listen to me, you are my servants, also hmm” he paused, thinking of what else to say “I feel like this clan shouldn’t exist and like there is supposed to be a kittypet invading one of the clans who should be here right now but whatever, class dismissed!” he yowled, and hopped down from the high ledge. Soontobedeadkit walked up to Deadstar, who didn’t care what happened to his clan, and mewed cheerfully, “Hey Deadstar I’m going to go sneak out of camp, try to catch a thrush, and instead be snuck up on by a fox and get shredded to bits is that ok?” he said, looking cheerful. “Yes sure as long as it will make you leave me alone” Deadstar growled, shooing the kit away. And the kit bounded cheerfully off to her death. Soon after, fangshred came to deadstar asking where her kit was “have you seen soontobedeadkit?” she asked, trying to seem worried but actually not caring very much at all because she knew she would be over it in 2 seconds. “Meh probably shredded to bits by a fox” Deadstar replied, uninterested. He sat back down and went to sleep, knowing full well he would immediately die the next day.

Leh next day

Rottingtail ran out to the clearing, with blood smeared all over his pelt. “Deadstar is dead!” he yowled, acting surprised. The camp broke out into yowls of surprise, wondering what happened, completely ignoring the blood all over Rottingtails pelt. “Wow Deadstar was right they really are morons” Rottingtail said, without even whispering so everybody could hear him but they just ignored him because they are stupid and weren’t going to realize Rottingtail killed him until he was already Rottingstar, he had full control of the clan, and everybody was suffering.


(imma make more later but heres it so far lol)

[Strikeclaw the Avenger]

This is hilarious! Plz continue!

[Shadowrunner]

The Stars are Rotting
The newly named Rottingstar stepped into the camp. Rottingstar sniffed, and smelled his loyal servants around the camp. There was also another very very strong smell, wafting from the fresh kill pile. But somehow because these cats are stupid and have no sense of smell apparently, they don’t notice it and that half the fresh kill has gone bad and is now crow food and that some of the cats, Missingtail, Goawaykit, and Tigerclaw were all going to die of food poisoning the next day.

The next day Rottingstar awoke to find his medicine cat Deadheart standing at the entrance to his den. “Rottingstar!” Deadheart mewed urgently, “Come quick!” he said, and dashed out of the den. “What in the name of Starclan was that about” Rottingstar muttered as he walked after Deadheart, and they arrived at the medicine cat den. “When we woke up Missingtail, Goawaykit and Tigerclaw and more were all very sick” he said, “I don’t know what caused it, but if we don’t figure it out I can’t treat them and if I don’t treat them they will die!” Deadheart hissed. Rottingstar nodded absentmindedly and looked around camp, his eyes eventually rested on the prey pile. “Well maybe it’s all the prey there that is literally half rotted!” Rottingstar said, surprisingly calm. Deadheart shook his head “no, surely it can’t be that, a cat eating rotting crow food surely wouldn’t cause deadly sickness!” he mewed nervously, and then realized something “ahah! Maybe its that rotting prey over there!” he yowled, pointing his tail at the prey pile. “Ah! Yes! Good observation Deadheart I never would’ve realized that!” Rottingstar mewed sincerely. Deadheart went to his herb store to give the sick cats yarrow so they would puke up the rotted food, only to walk out empty pawed. “Rottingstar I have an issue” Deadheart mewed, “I’m coincidentally out of Yarrow when I needed it most despite the fact that I just restocked the Yarrow yesterday, but I think maybe I forgot to restock it despite the fact that it’s very obvious Lostheart stole my Yarrow and then poisoned the fresh-kill and I know because he was acting super sketchy yesterday but SURELY IT ISN’T HIS FAULY BECAUSE HE MUST BE INNOCENT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” he said, very normally. Rottingstar nodded “indeed, Lostheart couldn’t possibly have done this, so instead I shall make him my deputy so he can proceed to kill me and be evil to the clan and whatnot yada yada oh hey I’m tired I’m gonna go sleep now BAI” Rottingstar padded off to his den and curled up, ignoring that a lot of his clan was going to die, and knowing that Lostheart would probably kill him tomorrow morning.

aight I made more XD I dont know what my life is apparently